Elopement

To the average person, running off to get married comes to mind with the word elope. Unfortunately for us and other family members of people with autism it has a different, more frightening meaning. Autism Elopement means to leave a supervised area to avoid a situation or to seek enjoyment without letting someone know and it has become a part of my life. I mention it a bit but experience it even more.

The fear that shoots through me when I notice Mitchell is gone is the worst thing I have ever experienced. Steven & Caroline were both "runners" when they were little so this is not new to me. The huge difference is that Mitchell cannot answer me when I call his name, nor does he realize at any point he is alone or become fearful of situations. Each time Mitchell disappears I really believe he is gone for good. I freeze for a moment and try to figure where he may have gone. I don't know if I should take the time to call neighbors and risk losing 1 minute that could save him from a pool or a car. I don't know which way to run or call his name even though I know he won't answer me. I want to just cry but I can't right now, save it for later.
Mithell eloped this morning from the car in the garage. I put all the kids in the car then had to run across the street to get a carseat for the extra we had today. Won't be doing that again. I returned 1 maybe 2 minutes later to find he climbed our of his seat, over Steven to get to the door w/o child safety lock on while Caroline & 2 neighbor girls watched him take off. Look left then right then scream at the kids. He has developed a liking for Julie & Mikes backyard from which he can see Betsey's pool so that where I headed. As I tried to get into Julie's backyard I heard her upstairs say she had him. Her boys who apparently are more aware than my kids said he cam in from back door & ran upstairs. Her gates were closed which means he crawled under one. We are so blessed to have such wonderful, caring neighbors (mostly) like Julie who I know love Mitchell and are sympathetic to our situation. She shakes it off as just another day living by the Iveys and offers me a drink, ha ha. Thank you Julie!
When I dropped Mitchell at camp I told the counselor what happened and she shared some stories about her 16yr old brother who has down syndrome & autism and elopes as well. I told her about my first memory of Mitchell escaping. We were in Mississipi visiting Aunt Vicky in October 2009. I was on the enclosed back porch with Mitchell and Grace and decided to bring Grace in to pass her off to someone. I walked in the kitchen door then into the family room to see Aunt Vicky playing Wii with the kids and decided to take Grace back outside. Back through the kitchen and out to the porch and I saw one screen door unlatched and didn't see Mitchell anywhere in the backyard. All I could do was run back inside and yell "he's gone, Mitchells not on the porch anymore!" then I froze. We were on a hill in the middle of logging country where houses are far enough apart and separated by trees you can't see one another. There are deer, snakes and all other sorts of wild animals around, there was no way we were going to find him at all, let alone alive. Horrible to think that I know, but it's what I felt.
A neighbor was stopped on the street, she called her son to round up a rescue team on ATVs and a call had been made to the county (I think). About 10 minutes later Mitchell came up from the trees into a clearing where we could see him. When he saw us he looked somewhere to run, it was a game to him I think. I hugged him so tight and could not believe there was nothing wrong with him other than a few scratches. Unfortunately I have cannot bring myself to visit there again, just too many possibilities for running off.
My neighbor just called to see how I am, asked what she can do for me and reminded me what a great mom I am for Mitchell to have. Today is a day I feel like I am drowning but I know tomorrow will be better.