The Christmas Flu

Every year we get the flu and pass it around like a grab bag gift. Sometimes it's the upper respitory flu but mainly it's the good old stomach flu. I remember January 2002 being the first time as an adult I had the flu. It has come to visit every year, beginning with different family members each time. Steven came down with the flu while I was skiing early 2004, gave it to Steve before I returned then passed along to me and both sets of grandparents. Caroline the next year was sick Christmas eve and missed all the Christmas morning excitement & most of Christmas day. We all had it by the New Year. Then there was the Christmas we left the Iveys in Oak Lawn and didn't even make it out of town before Steven vomited all over the back of our brand new minivan, it was 2005. I came down with it shortly after while being 7 months pregnant. And how can we forget surviving the Christmas chaos last year only to drive 3 hrs to Indianapolis for Steven to spend his first night sick at the hotel. We had already exposed all pur friends that day so why go home? Well our friend has come early this year and hopefully will be gone quickly. Mitchell came down with the stomach flu last night. Poor guy can't tell me now he feels but I really think he understands when I explain to him that he's sick and he's gong to be ok. In the past I don't think he really got what was happening to him. On a funny note, I gave him a bucket in the middle of the night - a clean bucket- and he put it over his head. He's still a character vene when feeling under the weather. As much as I hate having sick ones in the house, I enjoy the calmness when they just lay on the couch and the fact I don't have to run all over creation today. I might be able get the house somewhat picked up to get ready for the mess that is coming on

Holiday gift guide: Books about autism

Holiday gift guide: Books about autism If you are looking to catch up on your Autism knowledge here is a good place to start. You can also subscribe for updates from The Thinking Person's Guide To Autism on FB and email.

Mario Cart

Steven received Mario Cart for Wii for his birthday.  It has become an huge hit with everyone in the family especially Mitchell.  We start the Wii and Mitchell immediately sits down in his blue Pottery Barn overstuffed chair that I am so happy we are getting use out of after months of it just hanging out by itself.  Anyhow, Mitchell plops in his chair and stairs at the TV in anticipation.  Occasionally he gets close to the TV and follows the racers  moving around the course map on the lower right of the screen but mostly he sits and oohs & aahhs and shreiks with delight as the cart kareems into the gorge or blows up after hitting a bomb.  We noticed right away how much he loved watching the game but he never requested it until last week.

Last Sunday Mitchell was getting a little agitated with nothing to do.  He kept walking around whining a bit and would walk over to his Dynavox and select the Toys folder but wouldn't pick anything.  Finally I got it & said "Mitchell you want to play Mario Cart" and he sprinted to he seat and giggled.  Unfortunately this means drop what you're doing and entertain me because I certainly don't want to play it, only watch YOU play it.  Oh, twist my arm, I'll put down the laundry and sit on the couch for a bit.  So when the fun was over I took a picture of the Mario Cart package and added it to his Toys folder on the Dynavox.  You see where this is going?  Many times a day now we are summoned to the family room to put on a show.  It's so hard to tell him no when there is so little he finds interest in.

If you pause the game for any reason, Mitchell will grab your hand to get your attention and walk to the TV and point to the CONTINUE button that is waiting to be clicked.  Last night he requested Mario Cart while Steven was playing Pokeman so I told him he had to wait a few minutes so he sat patiently.  Once Steven started shutting down the game but got distracted, Mitchell helped him out by pointing to the QUIT button on the screen while saying the word.  Who says video games are bad?  I just realized Mitchell can identify the words continue & quit, understand their meaning and say them as well.

I let them know at By Your Side that I added this to his device because if he sees they have it there he may want them to play it form him.  I was told they could work on him playing it, that is just really awesome.

Must Be Steve's Week

Before I headed upstairs with Grace I asked Steve to remove clothes from the dryer and transfer clothes from washer to dryer. He just texted me that the clothes smelled like poop and there was a piece of poop at bottom of the washer, he's rewashing them. Ick. He really hates poop. Maybe this is a reward for going out after work tonight. :)

Steve & Poop

I'm writing this as I lie down with Grace and listen to the chaos outside the door. I decided to take Grace to bed a little early cuz I wasn't feeling all that great. I told Steve Mitchell could have a bath tomorrow since I was tired. Twenty minutes later I hear Steven yell from the basement " Mitchell popped it reeks!" then there was a lot of swearing and Mitchell yelling. Next I hear Steve bring Mitchell into powder room am tell him not to poop on the floor then some commotion, more swearing, and then Steve is running a bath for Mitchell. You see Steve doesn't handle poop well. I'm not sure if it's just people poop, kid poop or what but he doesn't do well with it. Anyhow, Mitchell calmed down and us now in bed. Steve comes in yo tell me what happened. He was in the basement with Mitchell and he went pee & poop on toilet. Steve came upstairs for something & sent Steven downstairs right away to be with Mitchell and Steven smelled it right away & saw Mitchell had taken his sock and placed it over his mess. Steven can't believe he tried to hide it since it smelled do bad anyhow. At least we don't have to give Mitchell a bath tomorrow night. Chuckle chuckle.

Why I Talk About Autism

I went to a get together at my friend Rachael's house the other night. I only get to see Rae 1 or 2 times a year but she is still an awesome friend. She doesn't have any kids and we are not particularly alike at all but we fit nicely together and through all 4 of my kids and all our craziness she has not run for the hills. Anyways what makes our friendship even more special is thinking how she is placed in my life for reason & I in hers. Rachael has a friend with a 13yr old boy with Autism. I met this boy when I was pregnant with Steven but never thought I would have a son as special as him. While I was talking to people I knew at the party I mentioned Mitchell's Autism and this other guest spoke up at how similar our lives seemed and she has a 5yr old daughter on the spectrum. Blow me down. Hear we are, 3 random women with 1 person in common and we all have children with Autism. I'm thinking we exceeded the normal ratio for typical:spectrum. At MOPS earlier this year we had s speaker who talked about being Authentic and not being afraid to share your story because someone else may need to hear it. I'm a pretty outspoken mom Mitchell & Autism. I used to cry at the thought of saying the word but now it's one of the first things I say when you meet me. I don't throw it out there as a "oh look at poor me" or even "look at rockstar me & all I can handle". I do it because I want to share my story in hopes of letting others know its ok to share theirs. Saturday night was so much more than a cookie exchange. If I hadn't talked about Mitchell maybe I wouldn't have known the new girl & I had something so important in common.

Halloween 2011

I finally got my new camera and was able to transfer the pictures stick on my old broken camera.  Halloween is a fun, if not interesting time at the Ivey house.  Steven doesn't like spooky or gooey, Caroline & even Grace take every opportunity to terrorize him and Mitchell doesn't really care either way.  It is one of the few times during the year I feel pretty normal.  I think it's because even typical households have chaos during this season with all the costumes & candy floating around.  Steven & Caroline trick-or-treat with their friends and Mitchell and Grace take turns going around the block.  Everyone catches on pretty quick to "hand them your bag and they put candy in it." Enjoy the picture storytelling below.  Also make sure you check out the Halloween video on the youtube link.

 She enjoys sticking her hands in the pumpkin.

 Little helper.

 Letting daddy do all the hard work.

 Caca look at all your stuff.

 Far away from the table where all the gross stuff is.

 Steven showing his goo.

 Mitchell trying to get back into house, didn't want his picture taken I guess.

 Another picture without Mitchell

Clockwise from triangle eyes: Mitchell, Grace (with eyebrows), Caroline (Rapunzel), Mommy, Steven (A Halloween)

My Like List

Since I do not like my crazy Thursdays I tried to experience things i fo like & think happy thoughts. Here are some things on my "like" list. Not in any particular order. 1. Getting an interrupted night of sleep 2. Mitchell's current phase of goingbto bed & staying in bed 3. Listening to Steven sing Veggie Tales Christmas in the car 4. Driving at night listening to Christmas music looking at Christmas decorations 5. The silence of snowfall 6. Having big girl conversations with Grace 7. Mitchell's infectious laugh 8. Hugs from Steve and the kids 9. Mondays (sorry working folk) 10. The way Caroline has to feel/touch everything (I'll miss it someday) 11. Adult conversations without kids around 12. Newborn babies 13. Hearing encouraging words 14. Showing my kids I love them 15. A good chic flick 16. Laughing until I cry 17. Listening to Grace repeat something she has just figured out like "you're my mommy, Caca's mommy, Steven's mommy, Mitchell's mommy & Daddy's wife" 18. Walt Disney World 19. Family parties 20. Janet Evanovich books

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

Christmas season is upon us. With it comes hope, joy and constant worry. I start to worry about what to get Mitchell for gifts. He can't tell us what he wants or write a letter to Santa which leads to the unhealthy worrying about the future and if he will ever be able to tell me what he wants for Chtistmas which leads to will he ever be able to tell me when he's hurt or how he's feeling which leads to will he know what's going on when Steve & I die and what happens if he developes cancer or some other major health problem and so on. See how out of hand this gets? I know I should just worry about the 2 weeks school is out for the holiday but that makes my stomach drop so I try up think of other things and my kind just goes crazy. As for the school holiday , and all school holidays of the future, we have hired 2 of Mitchell's aides from school for a few hours on weekdays w/o school. This will be a huge relief for all of us. Mitchell will have someone to play with, who won't leave him alone as much as he'll try to ditch them and I can take a shower everyday before Steve comes home for dinner. There is winter camp again this year but only for 1 of the 2 weeks he is off school. My heart rate increases when a day off school approaches, a couple weeks might go me in. So glad we found found some help. We got so used to having therapy everyday that when we condensed our 6 hrs into 3 days it left us with a lot of free time. It is nice not having to drive to therapy on Thursday & Friday but it makes for a long weekend for Mitchell. So this Saturday we are going to a free social group I found for 2-6 yr olds about 30 minutes away. Hopefully it will be a good fit and can turn into a regular activity. For some reason all the cool things for Autufm are not far south like we are but I don't mind driving because that fills time too. We are looking into Aquatic therapy at the same place, sounds like fun. Glad I got that of my chest, I might be able to sleep a little tonight and have nice thoughts.

Happy Thanksgiving

I wish I had a working camera to capture all the new memories we created today. The Iveys have officially taken over the Steele family Thanksgving this year and although the Aunts, Uncles & cousins went out of town for the holiday, it was still a festive event. It kinda felt like any other day with Jim, Amy, the kids and my folks over but with better food. We managed to eat within 30 minutes of my schedule time and everything was super yummy. I put the turkey in the oven exactly when I had planned and was so proud of myself for stuffing it with my homemade stuffing. The was an issue with the ham because when I figured out the cooking time I was looking at the cost per pound number instead of the weight so we needed to adjust for the ham. It was all good though and forgotten about when I turned the mixer up instead of off as I took it out of the mashed potatoes and shot it all over myself. I ended up with 3 burns by the time it was over and Steve squirted himself with turkey juice while making the gravy. Mitchell was on his best behavior today...ya right. He was stripping down and peeing everywhere he could when not being watched. Downstairs on new stair rail, throughh window of doll house. Then he bit Steven & Andrew leaving a nasty markon each. He was sent to his room both times and did stay in there quietly for his punishment. Both times he was mad they were trying to prevent him from climbing. He also decided he wasn't going to eat with us and took his bacon upstairs. By the time dessert was served we could barely move off the couch. I made my famous chocolate eclaire cake and uncle Jimmy taught Grace how to scrape the chocolate off the top without getting pudding on the spoon. Now our guests have left. Steve has gone to Jack's with Caroline & Grace, Steven is playing on computer and Mitchell is finishing ff a box of rice rusks. Thinking its going to be an early night for all.

The Ivey Show

I think I am going to start selling tickets for the Adventures In Ivey show. Kind of like the Big Top at tgr circus. The greatest show on earth. In the past week we have gone from climbing kitchen cabinets to waking at 3am to climbing 2nd story railings to launching every object from the 2nd floor almost including a half gallon of paint. Don't think a little thing like double ear infection will hold Mitchell back. I kept him home from School today to make sure he gets all his medicine in him and this is how he thanks me. I am going to lose my mind pretty soon I think. I will become delirious rather than angry about what we have going on. We've also added a 7ft ladder to the family room decor for climbing and of course Grace loves it. She wants us to move it closer to the TV though so she can see Mickey better. Grace also started dance class this morning. The other moms commented on how well she was doing her first week and her teacher said she did amazing as if she had been coming for weeks. This might be her thing. They don't wear tutus to class and she accepted that rather well. As we were leaving she said "goodbye friends, see you next time" I was worried about her cooperating but apparently it's only people she know that she doesn't listen to. Thanksgiving break is next week and I'm not sure how that's gonna go. I might find that dark closet & a ...... Wait I was interupted by mitchell's therapist. Looks like he has pink eye & now we need to go home. Serenity now serenity now. There goes school, MOPS & bowling. Taking deep breaths.

Cabinets

We thought we came up with a perfect way to keep Mitchell off the tip of the cabinets. We used his aversion to mushy things and lined the cabinet and top of fridge with Vaseline. At first he was disgusted when he touched it but soon learned to wipe his hands all over the cabinet. We were out for the evening and when we returned we found he had taken a dish towel and lined his entry pint with the towel and just climbed right over it. Back to square one. I wish my camera was working, it could show you all what is going on in our house

Ear Infection

It turns out Mitchell's clumsiness on the counter may have been caused by a "severe" ear infection he was diagnosed with last night at the immediate care. This would also explain the 1am-4am play time the night before. I returned from a wonderful day of shopping to find him crying & pushing on his ear. When we looked into it with a flashlight he kept grabbing the flashlight & aiming it at his ear as if to say "please find out what is wrong.". Poor guy. I took him to the immediate care since it was 4pm on Saturday. Not my first choice, I have found the dr on duty is somewhat of a nitwit & doesn't really know children at all but I was stuck. We were only able to look in one ear before he started losing his mind but it looked awful so we got our script and went home. Wait I also want to mention how Dr Nitwit commented on how we wouldn't look into his other ear so we don't get him all upset and loud with the other patients coming in and all. Anyhow, after we get home I have to get ready to go out with Steve and we attempt to give Mitchell his antibiotics. Steve looks at the dropper I have filled and says " he has to take all of this?". Yep 7ML 2x day. Ths is gonna be fun. My mom & I ended up spotted with pink. I was picking through my hair all night. I don't think Mitchell swallowed any of it, now it is being put in his juice. Today he is back to himself and is actually drinking the juice. Next time I will just ask for a shot of antibiotics, it's the okay way to guarantee he'll get the full dosage. Oh and he is still limping but we couldn't stand one more minute at the immediate care. Well work on that next.

Eye Doctor

I took Mitchell to the eye doctor today for his school exam. I was hoping the school wouldn't notice he was missing it but no such luck. Obviously I was very skeptical of it being a successful appointment but I was pleasantly surprised. I decided to ask my eye doctor, Dr Bury, at my last appointment if she would see Mitchell. Dr Bury has an adult brother who is mentally challenged so I figured she would be a good fit for a child with special needs. Turns out she is an awesome fit! Mitchell was not apprehensive around her at all & cooperated a bit too. It's amazing how much they can tell about someone's eyesight with a few flashes of light & shapes on a stick. Mitchell even showed off by pointing to the star and calling it by name too. We discovered Mitchell has slight Astigmatism and great tracking ability. He also has exceptional (her word) near sightedness for his age. She wants to see him every year and try to someday get him to sight for a glaucoma test & eye measurements. Insert laugh. I've decided he's like a super hero with Spidey senses & agility, Superman's vision & a pain threshold of say Thor.

Climbing -ugh!

Ok how awful am I? I am relieved a bit that Mitchell jumped off the counter top and hurt his foot. I don't think he broke it. He is limping and doesn't let me touch it, I think he'll be fine. I am just happy for a reprieve from the climbing on the counter tops, top of fridge & top of cabinets. 1:00am he was up & up & up. Back to bed at 2 then up again til 4:00. If he would sit & watch TV or play iPad it would be fine but to have to stand in kitchen to keep him from climbing through the ceiling for 3 hrs during e middle of the night wears on me a bit. So yes if this keeps him on the ground for even 20 minutes it will help my day. This seems to be a cold weather energy worker outer or maybe it's sensory. In warmer weather he crawls across the top of the monkey bars in the backyard, much less nerve racking. It is going to be a long winter if we don't find something else for him to climb. In my mind I visual like a cat tower but for a 35lb boy. Or scaffolding in the family room where he can perch and see what's going on. Maybe I'll find a tall dark tower to hang out in, that would solve the problem, right?. I'm scouring the Internet for the right playset or climber and will not stop until I find it. Good thing we are getting rid of the train table, we'll need the space.

My Life In Holland

Thought I'd share this with you. Hits the nail on the head. WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

60 Minutes

I am just getting around to watching to 60 Minutes episode from last week. Anyone see it? It was about Steve Jobs andthn lead into iPads & Autism. Of course I imediately started crying. I found it so refreshing and happy in a way to see children like Mitchell. Usually whenever Autism is featured it about a child with Aspergers, high functioning Autism or severely severe Autism where the child is completely non functional. Mitchell falls somewhere in the middle. Site he dorsn't speak consistently but he does communicate and he knows exactly what he wants and h loves to be touch and to socialize but doesn't quite know how. Those are the people I saw on the program. An adult who just started using the iPad because before it was a game of charades to figure out his needs & wants. A 10 yr old boy who was considered low IQ and immature but once he had the iPad they learned how extensive his vocabulary was and he had a love for the opera. This makes me so hopeful and confident we are on the right path it Mitchell. We also were amazed Mitchell could write his name & read sight words without being taught to do so. It is all in there trying to get out. I often wonder why Mitchell is where he is on "the spectrum". Did we do something others did not do and that's why is seems smart or if we had tried something else could he be talking now? What if we had done this or that. It's so hard not to second guess every decision we make for him. But if I give myself time to process it I know we've made the right decision for us.

Family Photo

Since school pictures had been taken, I decided to get an updated one of Grace this past Monday. Her last professional photo was for her 1st birthday, she just turned 2 1/2 this month. Yah, I've been a little busy. Since that session went so well I decided to strike while the iron is hot and get us in for a family picture as well. Steve mentioned it on our anniversary and oddly enough he seemed excited about it. Other than stressing out about what everyone was to wear I was looking forward to it and thought it might go pretty well. The last family picture was taken in 2007 Mitchell had already regressed into Autism and Caroline was in the throws of the terrible two's. Three out of five of us had smiles on our faces and I don't remember the process being all that painful. So into Picture People we go a little before noon on Sunday. We are all in fall colors, Grace almost wore her princess ballet dress but I managed to find something that better fit our scheme. It starts out well without any yelling, kicking or hitting but then Grace decides she is not going to do what anyone is telling her. She doesn't want daddy do we switch then she doesn't want mommy. She wants her sippy cup then Mitchell is tired of waiting do he wanders off to get a drink too. We get everyone situated and I think out of each pose they figured 1 or 2 good shots. If someone had a sippy in their mouth I gave the OK to try again. Mitchell was being really cooperative in the beginning and following verbal instruction like a champ. Unfortunately, and there always seems to be an unfortunate turn of events, by the time we tried to get a group shot of kids only they all had had enough. In the end we let Mitchell pick his spot and placed everyone around him. This worked a little better. We ended up with some real life photos. Ever the optimist I told Stdve it could have been worse. Mitchell was only picking his nose in a few pictures. Grace managed a crazed smile even when she was screaming. Steven and Caroline didn't have a bad shot in the bunch, they handled themselves very nicely. Our pictures truly reflect who we are, no need to pretend we are a well kept well behaved bunch. Where's the fun in that? I'll share a picture in the morning when I get a chance to scan it.

Picture Perfect

School pictures came home today and I had to sit down as I looked at Mitchell's packet.   Tears of joy were streaming down my cheeks as I stared at the beautiful boy who looked so "typical", so much like any other kindergartener.  I could not believe what I was seeing, he was smiling AND looking at the camera.  The first professional picture of Mitchell since he was 1 yr old to truly capture who he is.

Happy Anniversary

Steve & I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this week. Crazy isn't it?  It seems so long long ago but yet I can remember all the details like yesterday.  The rain, the salon scrambling for a makeup girl because the scheduled girl lost her mother the previous night, Bert's car bring broken into at rehearsal dinner, Jack windshield being impaled, singer not getting off work, organist getting in car accident on way to church, Fr. Burke showing everyone my 8th grade yearbook picture, all our friends and family being there to celebrate with us.  Am I forgetting anything?  The day was the perfect start to our life together.
Thirteen years ago I didn't look too far into the future.  If I thought about our life in 2011 I new we would have 4 kids but didn't know we would be finished adding on.  I new Steve would be successful in his career but did not see me having already spent 8 yrs at home raising our children.  I new we would be happy but could not imagine feeling as complete as I do now.  This has been quite a journey and I am looking forward to the next 13, 23, 33 years.  We are so blessed to have relationships with the same people we celebrated with all those years ago and also new and returning friends we can celebrate with now. Cheers to all of you!

The Girls

Caroline & Grace are growing up so fast. The things they say & do really make me stop and the smell the roses while I can. Caroline has a new boy friend. There aren't any girls on the block Caroline's age so she has always had a boy friend around. First it was Nate until he figured out she was a girl I think. Then it was Jack for a about 2 yrs. They are fabulous together and she just moved right into her second home across the street. Now there is Mason whom she sits with on the bus. He lives at the end of the street but we didn't know him before this year. Now it's Mason this, Mason that. I felt so bad about Jack I called his mom to apologize for my daughter dropping him Like a sack of potatoes. She said she saw this coming as their interests were changing and they were fighting more than having fun when together. Typical things before the break up right? And Caroline started riding her 2 wheeler and if you can't keep up, you're left in the dust. Anyhow, Caroline did see Jack over the weekend and is teaching him to ride his bike. Not sure how Mason is going to feel about this. We saw Mason at Great Clips last week and his dad & brother were really trying their best not to embarrass him in front of Caroline. Hid brother kept poking him and was snickering the whole time. Then, yesterday, Caroline came home from School and said "Mason has a girlfriend!". Really? Who says that? "I did". Steven chimes in. " yay she yelled it to the whole bus a bunch of times". So I told Caroline she shouldn't tease Mason and that she was the girlfriend. She just looked at me like she didn't understand. Oh boy. Then there's Grace. She only wants to get dressed when we need to leave the house and then it's only in CaCa's clothes. Now she also wants to be Jasmine for Halloween, same as Caroline. Grace told me today "mommy I stay home by myself, I old enough now". Great that is a huge load off my back. She talks all the time about various friends of hers as if she hangs out with Ms Blanche (at bowling), Jonah, Elle, Beth, Allie & Brett. And she's do polite with please, thank you, oh sorry but then also the occasional oh darn and its not fair. Today she looked up at the sky and said it looked like rain and sure enough the northern sky was dark & it started raining 5 minutes later. How does a 2 yr old now this? I am amazed every day with the things that come out of her mouth. I have to do a better job of writing them down.

Mother of the Year

I am sitting at Mitchell's therapy, by myself, and have time to reflect on the happenings around Ivey land. Let's see, Mitchell woke this morning at 3 kicking his wall and screaming. This happened last week too and he fell back asleep so I let it go. How awful do you think I felt when I go to wake him and see his laying in corner of his bed on bare mattress wrapped completely in a sheet with a soaking wet pj short next to him and wet pants on. Yep he wet his bed, woke up mad and mommy didn't care enough to come check in him. Ugh. Luckily he doesn't hold a grudge. So to make up for being a bad mom I took Grace in for her 2 yr picture. She turned 2 1/2 last week and has not had an updated picture since 1 yr. Plus, I made an appt for a family picture next week. I think I could get some points for this. Last week I struggled to maintain a resemblance of a functioning household and this week I am starting off so good! Pat on the back. Provided Steven & Caroline don't fight the second they're home, Grace says my name less than 50x a day and Mitchell keeps his clothes on & tries not to lose his mind and smack himself in the head or kick another hole in the wall and I don't have to return home 4x every time I try to leave the house. It's only 5 days until Friday. I hear Mitchell screeching at his therapist, Joe, because he does not want to go on the playground, it's time to leave.

Oktoberfest

 Mitchell had his hands over his face a bunch of times for added stimulation I think.

 Grace was free as a  bird on these things and would exit & say "yay I did it, let's go again" over 10x.

Mitchell is in red with his hands over face towards the rear.  He rode the Dragon 4x all by himself.

Last weekend we went to St Joe's Oktoberfest & Carnival.  We went last year & had a great time so we thought we'd try it again.  We invited our friends Sandy & Brian & their kids because we knew they liked rides and it was definitely good call.  Caroline & their daughter Peyton immediately bolted for the Gravitron then made their way around for 2 hours.  I felt as if we had 2 15 yr olds not 5 & 6 yr olds.  Steven played games like he always did which was a good fit with Cooper.  It was nice to see it wasn't only my kid who whined and complained he wasn't having fun at the carnival.  Grandpa Steele showed up so we had an extra hand with Mitchell & Grace too.  They both liked the Motorcycles and went round & round for what seemed like forever until Grace crashed in the stroller.  When Mitchell was done with the kiddie rides he conquered the Tilt-a-Whirl, Ferris Wheel, Super Slide & Dragon Coaster.  He loved the blue cotton candy & also peed in a port a potty for the first time ever.  WHAT A DAY!  Steve had to ride all the rides with Mitchell because I would just vomit, he's such a great dad.  The 2nd time they went on the Ferris Wheel Caroline joined them and was testing the limits with daddy, rocking it back and forth, looking over her shoulder so it swayed.  Steve just held his breath and they managed fine.  From the ground I just waited for Mitchell to stand up & jump out but he did awesome. He REALLY liked being up way high at the top.  I was also amazed at how well he waited in line for the rides and after the Dragon Coaster the attendant unbuckled him, he climbed out and came right to the exit.  It was a great day.  It just figures though, we find something that Mitchell loves to do and we have one other, Steven, who's not such a big fan.  Having extra help makes it manageable.  Thank you dad, Sandy & Brian!

Another Clogged Toilet

The kids bathroom toilet clogged again the other night.  This is the same bathroom the Lego piece was found in roughly 6 months ago.  We thought Steven just used too much toilet paper cuz it would work then not work and we didn't know.  I had looked around the bathroom to see if I detected anything was missing but couldn't quite put my finger on what was off.  Waalaa!  Steve pulled the toothpaste out of it this morning.  Strange I didn't notice toothpaste was missing, right?  I placed it on the counter earlier to throw it out & thought I had.  Not sure if it was Mitchell or Grace who is guilty, no one's talking.

A Poem

The Misunderstood Child
A poem about children with hidden disabilities
by Kathy Winters
I am the child that looks healthy and fine. I was born with ten fingers and
toes. But something is different, somewhere in my mind, And what it is,
nobody knows.
I am the child that struggles in school, Though they say that I'm perfectly
smart. They tell me I'm lazy -- can learn if I try -- But I don't seem to know
where to start.
I am the child that won't wear the clothes Which hurt me or bother my
feet. I dread sudden noises, can't handle most smells, And tastes -- there
are few foods I'll eat.
I am the child that can't catch the ball And runs with an awkward gait. I am
the one chosen last on the team And I cringe as I stand there and wait.
I am the child with whom no one will play -- The one that gets bullied and
teased. I try to fit in and I want to be liked, But nothing I do seems to
please.
I am the child that tantrums and freaks Over things that seem petty and
trite. You'll never know how I panic inside, When I'm lost in my anger and
fright.
I am the child that fidgets and squirms Though I'm told to sit still and be
good. Do you think that I choose to be out of control? Don't you know that I
would if I could?
I am the child with the broken heart Though I act like I don't really
care. Perhaps there's a reason God made me this way -- Some message
he sent me to share.
For I am the child that needs to be loved And accepted and valued too. I
am the child that is misunderstood. I am different - but look just like you.

Overnight

No routine is the routine in our house. It's bad I know but it's the way we roll at Casa Ivey. Grace has something against sleeping in a bed, any bed, so she sleeps on the floor at the foot of our bed. She used to sleep on the little Elmo couch, then it was Dora, but she has outgrown them so the floor it is. We are slowly making the transition to her bedroom which she shares with Caroline and she should be moved in by the time Caroline heads to college. Every night grace wakes sometime between midnight & 5 am yelling about something in her sleep and screams to go downstairs. I just want her to be quiet & not wake everyone up (mainly Mitchell) so I do what I am told. We spend the rest of yhe sleeping hours On the couch. Anyhow the point is she screams about something that has gone on during the day. Last night she yelled "no Caca that's my pizza", the night before it was "no Mitchell don't take my french fries". Clearly her days are very stressful and she has nighares about them. My mom was her last night & told me Caroline took the last slice of pizza for dinner & Grace was mad. I'm sure tonight it will be the frequently used " Mitchell don't take my juice, come back here." Hope everyone else has a good nights sleep.

Funny Things They say

I was cleaning up the house, no that's not the funny part, and I tarted folding a blanket. Grace ran into the front room and started saying she found the chair with the hole. "c'mon mom I found the chair with the hole". She was telling me she had opened the cedar chest (with cushion on top) for me to put the blanket back. It reminded me of funny things the kids have said. Steven used to say "oh faroline" and "honk shoo" when he wanted to go to sleep. Grace calls Steven & Caroline tse tse & ca ca. She knows how to say their names now but likes the old way. She calls Dora dodo and waffles fwaffles. If I remember any more I'll let you know.

Season of Change

It occurred to me today how many wonderful changes gave cone our way recently and I thought I'd list a few. Steven - started 3rd grade, likes his hair longer (not buzzed), riding a two wheel bike (finally), can call his friends on phone Caroline - started 1st grade, is no longer missing 4 teeth in front so her speech has cone around, has grown like a weed, riding 2 wheel bike Mitchell - started kindergarten, repeating tons of words, speaking some words independently, rides bike with training wheels (faster than I can run), does his business on the potty, wipes & redresses, responding to directions, waits nicely at restaurants for our table, uses Dynavox to keep himself busy while waiting for food, can play in front of the house or park for 30+ minutes w/o running off Grace - dresses & undresses herself, pees on potty 1x/day, speaks in paragraphs using grownup words, knows more nursery rhymes & cartoon songs than I do, makes her own jelly sandwiches These may seem like little feats but they are huge around here. Everyone is growing up do fast. Today was one of those good days that allowed me time reflect on our positive traits.

iPad

My friend Nicole & I were taking last week about iPads and how it's in the news everywhere these days how well they help kids with Autism. She was saying how we need to get the school to buy them for the kids. There are apps that can help kids on all ends of the spectrum get through their day socially and academically. Plus an iPad is a socially acceptable piece of technology. Mitchell carries his Dynavox everywhere at school but the verbal children don't have devices. This started me thinking of the way Mitchell uses our iPad at home. The day we recorded Mitchell using our iPad to learn words then typing them on his Dynavox, we had just watched a news segment on a tablet and it's many uses. In the segment though, all the parents could say about it was how their son will read books on it instead of real booms and play games instead of other video games, Really ? That's why it's so great? My son uses the iPad for apps that teach him things and he does this without prompting. He incorporates the iPad with his Dynavox, learning things most 5 year olds don't know how to teach themselves to do. Tonight Mitchell sat in his favorite chair with his Dynavox and began typing the words from the same flash card app as before except Grace had the iPad so he was doing it by memory. Coffee, duck, egg, frog, giraffe, hat, ice cream, jam , koala. He didn't just memorize these words, if you ask him anytime how to spell nurse or orange he can type it. How is it the school has not tapped I to this? Without the iPad & Dynavox we wouldn't have any idea Mitchell could read or spell. This week, I had emailed Mitchell's intensive teacher to let her know that tracing lines confuse him and he just needs a prompt to write his name or any other word or number. Then I also told her he can read/write most color words and many other site words. She seemed to be aware of this but now she knows I am aware of what they are doing/not doing at school. Mitchell is pretty good at writing, but needs reminders on his grip. But give him a keyboard and he sails through. I know other children in his class who don't write well either, having a portable computer would allow them to show what they too have learned. I am glad Nicole brought this up and maybe we can get the ball rolling with school. I wonder if the school knows what is in store for them when us moms get together and brainstorm?

Oh what a week

I can't believe the weekend is here, never thought it would come. I actually have a few minutes to sit and drink some coffee. The week started with some froggy throats & ended with 2 trips to see the Dr. Last Friday Steven stayed home from school just not feeling well & slept the whole day. On Sat he awoke feeling great. Monday Steven came from school with a frog in his throat but said he felt fine. Caroline borrowed the frog on Tuesday but had no other symptoms. I sent everyone to school on Wednesday even though I had an uneasy feeling about it, but it was the first day of the new MOPS season and I was in charge of the craft. Sorry but I wasnt going to miss it, I would only be angry about it later. So at 1:30 I picked up Mitchell from school and drove him to therapy. Grace & I returned home right around 2:30 and were just about to hop in bath when the phone wrang. Caroline has 101 temp and needs to be picked up. When I got to school I asked how I can get one of the reserved spots up front, ha ha. Now the one thing that helped me feel like things weren't really going down hill was I got a text from my girlfriend on the way to the school saying she wasn't going to make bowling tomorrow because her daughter fractured both her wrists and she felt like she had an infant again she needed to care for. Sorry Beth, I was laughing since I was glad it wasn't me. The evening went ok. Steve had work things all week and didn't get home until after bedtime each night but I was managing. Sick kids means they're tired at the end of the day. Well Caroline woke up coughing & grasping for air at 1:30, 3:30 & 5:00 am. I was giving her Albuterol breathing treatments but it wasn't doing the trick. I told Steve we were going to the ER and oh ya, Grace's fever spiked at 106 during the night. Make sure she drinks her Tylenol laced juice and have fun getting the both off to school, I'll be at the hospital. Turns out Caroline has croup & bronchitis. They set us up with a breathing treatment with a miracle drug in it , a steroid crushed up & a zythromax script and said she should be better soon. Things went ok at home too, I went back to sleep until almost 3:00pm. Grace's crazy fever broke during the night and woke cool to the touch Friday morning. It was only then she started acting whiny & coughing/crying. While she was running at 104 during the weekdays I would say "grace you feel warm" and she would say " no mommy I feel fine, I ok" and play around like normal. Now when she doesn't have a fever she's acting sick. Ugh. We headed to the Dr after dinner and the confirmed she was sick....with the common cold. Thank you for your time & money, have a nice night. They are on the mend, Caroline has a bit of a temp still but the coughing is productive and doesn't interfere with breathing. Knock on wood, Mitchell & Steven are feeling ok. Let's start next week off well.

Amazing Grace

She really is an incredible little girl. She is not quite 2 1/2 yrs and she says things like that's amazing, wow mom, you can do it - yippee, Mitchell got on bus and I stay here with you today, I come with you pleeeease. She will narate the day so we know what everyone is doing every second and is a mother hen to Mitchell. She is peeing on the potty 1x a day (it's a start)and can pick out her clothes and dress herself, including socks and shoes. She also will occasionally grab one of the other kid's underwear and slip in on over her diaper. She us the perfect finale to our awesome family and a fabulous addition to this world. She is going places someday, I have no doubt. She may have to fight Caroline for the spotlight though.

Spelling with the Dynavox

Steve & I were sitting in the front room this morning enjoying conversation & coffee when we hear "coffee" coming from the Dynavox. He was using an app on the iPad to find a picture and it's spelling then types it out in the Dynavox. See the video on the side.

Give & Take

Mitchell has been doing fantastic on his potty training, even managed to catch a few poops in there too. Unfortunately the rest of his behavior has gone to the toilet too. He has got to be the most resourceful child I have ever met. We have installed blaring alarms on our outside doors and gates just time for him to pop out screens to leave (and enter the home.) Last week he was found sitting in his second floor bedroom window, feet dangling. My mom warned us we may come home one night after her babysitting to find she has had a heart attack. He also is scaling the 3ft high brick ledge around the family room like spiderman. After he is done with that he moves the patio furniture against the house to climb onto the windowbox and sit on the kitchen window ledge. But hey as we are tracking his potty success he get a thumbs up! This evening the air lightened up as Steven is trying to complete his homework, I am cooking a casserole, Steve is placing blind ties on the windows, Caroline is telling me she doesn't know her spelling words & they are too hard (ie. A, cat, the, man), Grace is alternating on the Dynavox the fart button, my butt hurts and I have to go potty, all as the Angry Birds them plays in the family room with Mitchell. Have a good night!

Free Time

 Mitchell is the only one in the family practicing his school work this summer.  Not only will he go back to school potty trained and talking a bit he will show them how he can spell.  In addition to these he also labeled turtle, horse and cat.  Have I mentioned how awesome he is.

Great America

Joe & Caroline waiting for The Eagle

Me & Caroline waiting for The Eagle

Joe, Caroline, Steve & Steven eating dinner.

Unacceptable attire for a 6 yr old but OK for overweight twenty-something.



We went to Great America a couple weeks ago.  The kids had Read To Succeed free passes from school and we had extras from our sister in law, Jeanna.  We brought along Joe & our friends Jack & Kelley too and had a great time.  We anticipated the crowd and purchased a 3 person Gold Flash Pass which allowed us to jump to the front of pretty much every ride.  The Eagle was not included on the Flash Pass so we waited in line for about 40 minutes.  Joe said he is never waiting in a line ever again since he had experienced the world of Flash Pass.  During 6 hrs of park time (I subtracted eating & waterpark) Joe was able to ride 14 rides.  That is awesome.  The Flash Pass is the way to go, worth every penny.

After we ate lunch we decided to hit the waterpark.  Caroline had her suit on under her clothes so just stripped down at the car.  Now park rules are no bathing suits.  We saw plenty of kids with their suits on going on rides so we thought it wouldn't be a problem to let Caroline walk through the park to the Waterpark entrance wearing hers.  So we all go through the line and enter the park and I turn around.  "Where's Caroline?" of course.  She's standing on the outside of the gate looking sad.  They won;t let her in without shorts.  We look around and can see from where we are standing 5 or 6 kids with just their suits on.  UGH.  Luckily the rest of us hadn't changed yet so  grabbed Joe's trunks from the bag and gave them to a worker to give to her.  That's where the picture of Snookie above comes in.  We walked behind this girl - IN HER BATHING SUIT - all the way from the front gate to the waterpark.  But Caroline has to put shorts on.  I sent an email ab out inconsistent park policies and training their people better.  Joe also was a little creeped out I was taking the girl's picture with my phone.

The day was a blast.  Joe made me go on Superman and I held back the tears.  We went on Viper last and it is my new favorite ride.  So much fun.  Joe won prizes for Caroline & Kelley, Steven won his own since he lad all day as he doesn't go on rides.  We did manage to get Kelley & Steven to go on Roarin Rapids and they had fun.  Mostly because I got drenched - always very funny.  We can't wait to go back again.  Next year is Season Pass time I think.

Potty Training 2

WOW!  About sums up potty training this week.  We went to Trinity Services Autism Family & Resource Center for potty training camp on Tuesday.  Armed with 20 pairs of underwear I had to sew 1"x2" pockets into, cookies, starbursts & fruit snacks for rewards, books, puzzles, ipad, gallon of juice and coffee for me, we arrived at 9am.  First try on the potty Mitchell went with little effort.  For the next 7 hours he continued to amaze us all with his expertise, as if he had been doing this for weeks already.  With more successes than accidents they sent us home with a 1hr off 5 min on schedule.  Yay!

We got home with 10 minutes to spare.  Mitchell wanted to go outside so with hesitation but understanding (we were in a 15x10 room all day) I let him out. buzzz buzzzz buzzzz.  Dam.  His urine alarm was going off as he sat in the rocks flipping me off in his head I am sure.  Ok reset the clock for 1 hour, we should be fine.  Fifty minutes later Mitchell runs upstairs as I follow, rips the alarm off his shirt & pees in our bedroom.  Has he lost his mind?  I am going to loose mine real soon.  Reset clock once again.  He must have just needed to get it out of his system because he had nothing but success the rest of the night.  Hooray for Mitchell.

The next days have been going great.  I left him with my Grandpa on Wednesday so I could attend a bowling luncheon I planned and he surprised all of us with his success.  He didn't want to get Grandpa in trouble I think.  He has been initiating with the Dynavox or by running to bathroom & banging on door.  It's amazing how he no longer plays in the bathroom so we can leave the door open in case he needs to go and no one is around.  Yesterday Abby & Andrew were over and ran came upstairs to tell me Mitchell was going potty.  He said he was at the back door so Andrew directed him to the Dynavox to see what he needed but then he turned it off so after a few seconds he lead Andrew to the bathroom and hopped on the toilet.  He even maneuvered his undies out of the way while sitting.  He is so smart.
This is going far better than I ever could have imagined.

I am in daily contact with the therapist from Trinity.  I email them our data sheet each night and she calls morning and evening to adjust our schedule.  This morning he didn't go when I put him on but 1 hr later he requested via the Dynavox.  Now we are on a 3hr wait.  Mitchell is a potty training Rock Star.

Oh one minor detail I forgot to mention, he hasn't pooped since Monday.  Hmmm.  Gonna look into that to see when I should start to worry.

Great Progress

Mitchell has really made a leap in communication in the last couple of weeks. It is great to see how his skills transfer from therapy/school to home and can be used in different context. I have been told by therapists he knows sight words and animals and we know he can identify & write letters and numbers but I couldn't figure out if he knew the meaning or just had them memorized. He has proven recently he's got it all! A couple weeks ago he showed me on his Dynavox Maestro that he can identify animals if given their sound or name and scroll through pages to find them too. This also transferred over to flash cards a couple days later. A few days ago he was using a story App on the iPad and was able to pick out letters when I asked him even tho they were out of order & mixed upper & lower case. He said puppy when he touched a dog's face on Tuesday, "I'm two" when Caroline was trying get Grace to repeat it and mimicked Aunt Maureen yesterday when she called him a stinkbutt. This morning we were looking through a flap book when he verbally labeled girl, pig & chicken without being prompted to do so. These are major accomplishments for Mitchell and really proves our therapy program is working. I am so proud of all his hard work over the past 3 1/2 yrs. I always assume Mitchell will be living with us forever but Steve thinks maybe not, alot can happen in the next 15-20 yrs. Look at how far he has come in under 4. He sure is an amazing little boy!

Potty Training 1

So excited, Trinity Services called back to set up intake meeting for Toilet Training and to tell me if we agree to let them use data collected for research purposes it will be free. I love free, of course I am on board with that. The regular cost is $750 which is partly covered by insurance as ABA therapy but free is definitely better. Mitchell & I go in Thursday for intake and from there, if they feel he is ready we set up the 1 day (6-8 HR) intensive training at the family center. Backtrack to March, I started training while on spring break. It was going fairly well, good day then bad day then good day then on the upswing until Saturday when Mitchell came down with a bug & diarrhea. Once that cleared up Spring Break was over & so was potty training. He discovered flushing the toilet soon after that and was too distracted in bathroom to sit & do his business. He will go on potty if I constantly put him on there and watch him like a hawk but that is next to I possible with everyone else bedding my attention too. This training will work on bad behaviors (toilet flushing, hands in toilet, etc) so he will learn to do his business and be on his way. Sensory wise he is totally there, he just chooses not to stop what he is doing to go potty on toilet. Very typical behavior, right?

Expense of Autism

Not sure if I posted this link correctly but it's an interesting take on the expense of Autism to families & society. The link is to the right.

6 going on 16

Caroline wanted to watch Grease the other day with Abby so I dragged out my VHS tapes and she watched it twice in her room. Last night she picked it again as her movie to watch before going to bed but said she missed the bowling scene. Aahhh, she wanted Grease 2, which of course we have as well so in it goes. Steve decided to lay down with her and then asked me if the movie was appropriate with all the talk about virgins and stuff. I said I think so, she really just likes music & dancing and I don't think she pays attention to the talk. The songs have alot of innuendos. I remember when Grease 2 came out on cable and going to softball practice singing all the songs. We didn't care what it meant we just liked singing.

Well I think the movie is the least of our worries until we decide to live under a rock. This morning in the car we passed over Bruno Mars/Eminem - even the edited version- and land on Katy Perry and Caroline's singing "pictures of last night ended up online got screwed, oh well" and Grace chimes in at the "TGIF". But they sound so cute singing it.

Last day of Camp

It's the last day of SRA Camp for Mitchell.  This means the next 3 weeks before school starts we will be on semi lock-down here at Casa Ivey.  I will need be on my A-Game to make sure Mitchell doesn't get into too much trouble.  This also means no showers for mom unless someone comes by for a few minutes.  We will try to fill our time with eating breakfast out with Grandparents, the watersilde & swimming at Aunt Maureen's.  I'm sure everyone else is just as excited as we are.
Camp has been such a relief for all of us.  I know Mitchell has a great time while at camp and he gets to do so many fun things he wouldn't otherwise.  He went to the movies twice, Rainforest Cafe, Pump It Up, made cupcakes at Walmart Bakery and Pizzas at Cici's.  Weather permitting he swam every Tuesday & Thursday and got to hang out with his friends and the awesome counselors.  It was wonderful to hear how much everyone thought he had grown since last summer.  He sits with the group and participates well during reading, crafts & lunch.  We only one instance of head butting that resulted in xrays of a nose but it was only bruised - yay.  Brings back memories of Mitchell fracturing his teachers nose less than 1 month into Early Childhood, sorry Miss Tracy!

Splash Station

Wow!  Today was really awesome.  Steve & I took Steven & Caroline to Splash Station and met Jim, Amy & the kids.  What a normal day it was.  It was so relaxing lounging in the lazy river & napping in a chair while two of our "typical" children ran around with their cousins.  The sky was overcast and storms were looming but not a drop fell.  The sun came out in full force just in time to tan up before heading home.
What a change it is just in a year or two with Steven & Caroline.  They can swim on their own and run around by themselves.  Caroline has always been the daredevil but even Steven went down the tube slides, water slides & race mountain.  Before we left we did find him moving at his typical speed in the lazy river.  Caroline took off right away to the tall slide and we didn't see her much of the day.
It was a well needed break today and we think we might even try it with Mitchell & Grace...I said might.
After a day like today I feel like taking Steven & Caroline and running off to a Disney cruise, it's so nice when we can give them the attention they deserve as well.
We all had a great time.

Happy Monday

It's a good start to the week. We all survived the weekend. I guess that's what makes it a good start. I got some relief going to a benefit in the city with my cousins & a friend and stayed out way to late but had uninterrupted sleep which is great! We took Steve's car that doesn't have air but I thought no problem just driving downtown in the evening no buggy. Uh oh. Katie forgot her wallet so back onto the Ryan to Katie's then back downtown. I was a little sweaty by the time we actually parked almost 2 hrs after I left my house. The ride home I felt like I was in a microwave cooking from the inside out. Ugh. New car coming soon.
Steve handled it without me. He takes the kids to Mcdonalds playland which I would never do by myself. Then after he got Grace to sleep (her bed is on our floor)Mitchell barrels into the room, flips on the light & trips over Grace. She must have been exhausted because she didn't wake up. By 9am Steve was texting wondering when I was coming home.
Caroline started VBS with her friend Jack. On the way there we overheard her telling Jack when they are 16 they can get married. No idea where she got the idea that was ok but plenty of time to address that later. She is so excited about VBS especially all the singing & dancing. I should have signed Steven up too to get him off the couch, maybe next year.
It's so hot out I don't even want to put the slide up. I think we will burst into flames the minute we step outside.

Rise & Shine

I wanted a picture of Mitchell in his camp shirt and they only wear them on Fridays so I took pictures of each of the kids this morning.

Determined To Have A Good Day

It's 8:38 am and we have had to implement a new house rule - don't lay on the couch if Grace is there because she will kick you in the head and give you a bloody nose. Yesterday I had to give reminders for the rules - don't bring your toys over if you don't want to share them and be nice to your sister or your friends will go home. We have so many rules in the house I can barely stand it.

I've decided to have baileys in my coffee this morning to help me relax after the mess that yesterday was. Of course I need to stay sober to drive Mitchell to camp at 9:30, pick him up at 1:30, go to therapy and then pick him up at therapy at 3:30. I would be a heavy daytime drinker if I didn't have to drive all over creation. For now I will settle with a warm breakfast cocktail. But I think Steve is coming home early from work today. Hooray!

Thursday Part II

Just when I thought the day couldn't get worse, I get Mitchell off the camp bus I rearend a car backing out of my parking spot. Ugh! I was totally at fault so I jumped out of the car to tell the lady sorry & make sure she is ok. I told her I didn't see her (duh) and she tells me she had her headlights on. What?? It's 3:15pm does that help especially when I backed into your rear fender? Whatever, she says not to worry about it, it seemed to blend right in to the already cracked and scraped bumper so we went on our way. When we got to therapy I realized I am starting to lose my mysterious stress handling abilities I am so proud of & known for. All is good now and hopefully going to bed early! It is going to be a full moon shortly, that could explain it.

Elopement

To the average person, running off to get married comes to mind with the word elope. Unfortunately for us and other family members of people with autism it has a different, more frightening meaning. Autism Elopement means to leave a supervised area to avoid a situation or to seek enjoyment without letting someone know and it has become a part of my life. I mention it a bit but experience it even more.

The fear that shoots through me when I notice Mitchell is gone is the worst thing I have ever experienced. Steven & Caroline were both "runners" when they were little so this is not new to me. The huge difference is that Mitchell cannot answer me when I call his name, nor does he realize at any point he is alone or become fearful of situations. Each time Mitchell disappears I really believe he is gone for good. I freeze for a moment and try to figure where he may have gone. I don't know if I should take the time to call neighbors and risk losing 1 minute that could save him from a pool or a car. I don't know which way to run or call his name even though I know he won't answer me. I want to just cry but I can't right now, save it for later.
Mithell eloped this morning from the car in the garage. I put all the kids in the car then had to run across the street to get a carseat for the extra we had today. Won't be doing that again. I returned 1 maybe 2 minutes later to find he climbed our of his seat, over Steven to get to the door w/o child safety lock on while Caroline & 2 neighbor girls watched him take off. Look left then right then scream at the kids. He has developed a liking for Julie & Mikes backyard from which he can see Betsey's pool so that where I headed. As I tried to get into Julie's backyard I heard her upstairs say she had him. Her boys who apparently are more aware than my kids said he cam in from back door & ran upstairs. Her gates were closed which means he crawled under one. We are so blessed to have such wonderful, caring neighbors (mostly) like Julie who I know love Mitchell and are sympathetic to our situation. She shakes it off as just another day living by the Iveys and offers me a drink, ha ha. Thank you Julie!
When I dropped Mitchell at camp I told the counselor what happened and she shared some stories about her 16yr old brother who has down syndrome & autism and elopes as well. I told her about my first memory of Mitchell escaping. We were in Mississipi visiting Aunt Vicky in October 2009. I was on the enclosed back porch with Mitchell and Grace and decided to bring Grace in to pass her off to someone. I walked in the kitchen door then into the family room to see Aunt Vicky playing Wii with the kids and decided to take Grace back outside. Back through the kitchen and out to the porch and I saw one screen door unlatched and didn't see Mitchell anywhere in the backyard. All I could do was run back inside and yell "he's gone, Mitchells not on the porch anymore!" then I froze. We were on a hill in the middle of logging country where houses are far enough apart and separated by trees you can't see one another. There are deer, snakes and all other sorts of wild animals around, there was no way we were going to find him at all, let alone alive. Horrible to think that I know, but it's what I felt.
A neighbor was stopped on the street, she called her son to round up a rescue team on ATVs and a call had been made to the county (I think). About 10 minutes later Mitchell came up from the trees into a clearing where we could see him. When he saw us he looked somewhere to run, it was a game to him I think. I hugged him so tight and could not believe there was nothing wrong with him other than a few scratches. Unfortunately I have cannot bring myself to visit there again, just too many possibilities for running off.
My neighbor just called to see how I am, asked what she can do for me and reminded me what a great mom I am for Mitchell to have. Today is a day I feel like I am drowning but I know tomorrow will be better.

Camp

Yesterday at the Sox game there was a teenage boy behind us who was cleary on the autism spectrum. Between his verbal stimming and covering his ears in anticipation for the loud crowd noises, his mom kept telling him camp is tomorrow not today, you get on the bus on Monday, today us only Sunday. I hope Mitchell is that excited to go to camp still in 10 yrs.

We are halfway through the second season of summer camp through Tri-County SRA. I am so glad we found the special rec association and it is so close to us. I don't know how I could possibly keep Mitchell occupied all day as well as give the other kids the attention they deserve. The counselors are awesome and have genuinely care for all these kids. Last year I was hesitant to send Mitchell but he fell in love with the camp right away. This year the counselors have commented on much Mitchell has grown since last year, he plays well "with" the other kids, cleans up and sits with the group appropriately. The fact that he has outgrown biting others is a bonus. I am so proud of him and all his hard work. Last week they finally got to hear him actually speak for the first time. First they were reading a book about letters and when they got to O, Mitchell stood up and started yelling P P then when asked if he needed help with his shoes he responded yes! Camp is just as excited about his progress as we are. Tri-County SRA rocks and I am so happy to have them in our lives. Steven & Caroline say Mitchell is so lucky to go to camp and do all the fun stuff. I tell them they're right but they are also very lucky they can make friends in a way Mitchell doesn't know how to... yet.

How Time Flies.....

When your having fun. That must be what I do everyday because before I know it it's Thursday already. This was such a fun and busy holiday weekend/week. We had waterslide fun, BBQs, swimming, fireworks and we can't forget the waste Steve was up to his elbows in.
We went into the weekend with a bang! It started Wed night when Mitchell came up from the basement with his excited I need to show you something look and was wet. Crap! Downstairs Grace was sticking marble run peices into a recently flushed toilet. I mopped up the mess and cleaned out the toilet and locked the door on my way out. Flash forward to Saturday afternoon and Mitchell has found his way into the crawlspace. Steve opens up the furnace room door to see water on the floor and realizes the ejector pump is not working. Here's where the waste come in. Steve has to scoop out the water sitting on top of the pump before opening to see what's inside. I said it should bs clean water since I locked the bathroom door Wed night no biggy right? Ha! Guess who used the bathroom since then? At least it was his own he was sifting through. We called the plumber, purchased a new ejector pump and removed 5 marble run peices from the motor. Pump is saved until Steve & plumber are talking and old but working falls over & the pipe cracks. So we are keeping the new one.

Next came the pool party that was going great and then Mitchell decided he no longer wanted to wear anything. Always a good laugh. We brought the waterslide to party #2 so Mitchell kept running into the house and laying on everyone's pillows all wet and Grace harassed the dog. Steven actually stayed late with Steve for fireworks which was a first. Oh and I almost forgot When I was packing our bag to leave Mitchell crawled under the fence to get out to the front yard. Luckily there was a gate right there because I'm not in good enough shape to be hopping fences. Unbelievably all the kids went to bed during fireworks in the neighborhood and slept through them.

A Day To Remember

I was just thinking yesterday how my rating scale for good/bad days probably differs greatly from others. Friday was a good day. Not because anything special happened but because it was much better than Thursday. Today was a great day, I'll explain why this is.
On Thursday I woke a little after 6am to the giggles of 3 girls who just weren't tired anymore. A few hours later as we all (3 of mine & 2 extra) piled into the van to pick up Mitchll from school and drive to camp I realized I hadn't replaced the seat I took out a few weeks back. No big deal, I'll just put it back in. Ha ha. Things don't go that smoothly for me most of the time. 15 minutes later we are at the school still trying to figure it out. I took the seat out, why can't I get it back in? I give up, I'm ready to scream, we drive off with Steven sitting illegally in the front seat, a folded bucket seat sitting unattached in the 2nd row and I'm praying I don't get pulled over. We arrive home safely after dropping Mitchell at camp and my mom shows up to help me. Thank goodness she figured it out because I couldn't drive all the way to Hometown illegally to drop of the 2 extras later on. The rest of the night went fairly well. This was a not so good day, but there hav been worse.
Friday was uneventful. Summer school, camp and therapy. Ran like a well oiled machine. No tantrums or upsets and I don't even recall the 2 olders kids even arguing with me. Steve was out until after bedtime but there wasn't any trouble. This is a good day.
A great day is one I have to make note of. It doesn't mean the entire day was all candy canes & gumdrops but there are bits of sprinkles here & there. Today Mitchell said 3 little words most moms of 5 yr olds hear all the time. We play a game of chase where we end up squishing on his bed pillows and I always tell him I love him. He looks intently at my eyes then my mouth trying to form sounds with his own. Once I heard the sounds but it was more just repeating the inflectin in my voice. Today, Mitchell came in from playing on the waterslide for a hug. He grabbed my chin and said "I" "I" so I said "I love you" and responded "I wuv you.". And that is all it takes to move the day way up to the top of my rating scale.

Always something good

I new it wouldn't be long before I would have some material to work with. It's 10 after 9 and Caroline is outside letting her lightening bugs go. Grace peeks over the railing "MOMMY!" then accepts Steve's usual response that I went to the store and heads back to our room. This is a relaxing end to a hectic day. The kicker tonight was Mitchell. I took C & G to the neighbors and M joined us a bit later. He was in their backyard when we saw him run behind the shed and drag something out. It's seemed odd he wanted to practice pitching against the netted backstop but we let him go with it. He dragged it all the way across the yard and propped it against their fence, can you guess why? Yep the neighbor that we share has a pool and he was going to climb the netting to get over the 4 ft picket fence to get to that pool. Fortunately the net was torn on the bottom, so he took off his shoes to get better footing but then his toes got all caught up. We stood with amazement and I shook my head, thanking God we went with the 6th privacy fence. We have at least another year before we have to place a dome over the yard to keep him in.

June 28, 2011

Here I am starting my blog. I first had the idea in Dec of 2009 and in typical Jen fashion did not get around to it until now. I have so much to say and not enough people to listen so here I am. I will try not to bore you with the mundane but the Ivey life is rarely that. So many wonderful people have given to me & I hope to do the same with sharing our story.